The Reason
by gaiaoftheforest
Summary: Misaki always wondered what the event was that made Usagi-san leave his childhood and tore two brothers apart. Now he knows, and he almost wished he'd never asked.
1. Chapter 1

The Reason

Chapter 1

_Ugh, stupid Usagi-san. _Misaki rubbed his eyes wearily, pushing the vacuum back and forth over the expensive hardwood robotically. _Kept me up all night. How is it humanly possible to do... _that_ six times in one night? And my ass is so sore, he's just fucking lucky that it's a weekend! That stupid rab-_

_ THUMP_

Misaki snapped out of his internal ranting, ears cocked curiously towards the front door. When another _thump_ didn't come, he shrugged, and continued pushing the vacuum, wincing as the pain in his backside flared up. _Fucking Usagi-_

_THUMP._

_ There it is again_, he thought, turning off the vacuum and winding the cord around the knobs. _Probably Aikawa losing the will to live again. I should start withholding sex until he meets the deadlines, he still doesn't know where the washer and dryer are, I can hide out there-_

He continued to muse to himself as he made his way downstairs, expecting to find a world-weary editor on the other side of the front door. He hummed the theme song from _The Kan_ anime as he opened the door.

Never in a million years of dreaming could he have imagined what he would find that day waiting for him on his doorstep.

At first, he didn't see anyone. As he furrowed his brows in confusion, he happened to look down, and had to fight to keep the bile from rising in his throat at the sight. There, huddled on the doorstep, was a half-naked woman, covered in cuts, bruises, and welts.

Warily she looked up at him with her one good silvery-violet eye, the left one purple and swollen completely shut. Every visible inch of skin, which was a lot since she was only clad in a pair of black bikini panties and a black lace bra. She favored her right arm, holding it close to her body, and the way it was swollen made him think it might be sprained or even broken. Her long silver violet hair pooled around her, easily hanging to her knees if she were standing.

"Pl... please," she croaked, licking her cracked lips with a dry tongue. "Hel... help me."

"Where the hell are you, you fucking bitch?"

Quickly Misaki yanked her up and pulled her inside, slamming the door, hearing a large body running down the hall to the apartment door. He locked the door and grabbed Usagi-san's large winter coat, draping it carefully over her. He jumped when he heard the pounding at the door of an angry man, shouting obscenities and threats through the door.

"Oh you stupid bitch, you'll fucking regret this! I'll kill you this time, you good-for-nothing slut!" The woman narrowed her eye, clutching the jacket around her tightly.

"Usagi-san, get down here!" Misaki called, his voice hitching in fear when he heard the beginnings of the hinges giving way. "Fucking get down here, now!"

Suddenly the door gave way under the assault, and in the doorway stood a large, portly, balding man in a custom Armani suit, clutching a gun, his face red and glistening.

"You thought you could escape, princess?" he sneered, focusing on the woman curled on the ground. "Thought someone would give two shits to help you? I fucking _own_ you!" he advanced on her, but paused when Misaki threw himself between him and the girl, protecting her with his own body.

"Think you're a big man, boy?" the man chuckled darkly. Suddenly he backhanded Misaki, throwing him to the side, the floor squealing as he skidded across. The boy clutched his cheek, pain exploding behind his eyes. He shook it off as he heard the man hitting the woman, the sickening sound of a fist hitting vulnerable flesh echoing in the large apartment.

_Usagi-san, where are you?_

Misaki pulled himself up to his feet unsteadily, teeth clenched tightly. _I can't let him keep hurting her_. He threw himself at the man, shoving him away from her.

"You little fucking fag!" he growled, his red face quickly changing to purple. He held up the gun, pointing it right at Misaki's heart, who had placed himself between the girl and her attacker yet again. "Say goodbye, freak."

_Usag-san..._

_ CRACK_

Two things happened at the same time. The girl shoved Misaki aside at the same time as her attacker pulled the trigger. Misaki watched in horror as in slow-motion her body jerked from the impact of the bullet and fell, gracelessly, in a heap on the floor, a pool of crimson slowly spreading from the hole in her chest.

One second later, the gunman fell as well, his eyes open and unseeing, blood pouring from a hole in the back of his head.

Misaki scrambled from where he fell, turning the woman onto her back. A lot of her pale hair was already stained red from blood, and a thin trickle slipped from between her lips. Misaki frantically pulled off his shirt, pressing it against the bleeding wound. He barely heard Usagi drop his own gun and rush to his lover, falling heavily on his knees.

"Are you alright, Misaki?"

"I'm fine," Misaki breathed heavily, trying to swallow down the nausea. His hands shook as he shoved his cell phone at Usagi. "Call an ambulance, now!" He pressed down with both hands, focusing so hard on stopping the blood so he wouldn't have to think about how close it had been for their positions to be reversed. He brushed the hair away from her face as a distraction, and squinted hard. He knew those features...

"Yes, we need an ambulance _now_! I've got a woman bleeding... on the..." Usagi finally noticed the face of the woman, his violet eyes wide and his grip on the phone slipping. _There's no way..._

_"Sir, sir, we need your location!"_

Hastily Usagi put the phone back to his ear, barking out the address and other information for the operator. He snapped the phone shut and watched dumbly as Misaki breathed a sigh of relief, the bleeding finally slowing down. He felt her cold wrist and visibly slumped in relief when he still felt her heartbeat.

"She's still alive, how long for the ambulance?" When no answer came, Misaki glanced at Usagi curiously, and almost did a double-take.

The normally stoic author who lived to tease and torment him to no end... was _crying_. Two rivers of tears dripped off his cheeks, the violet of his eyes rimmed in red. He reached out a shaky hand to caress the woman's face, his eyes unblinking and unseeing.

_He knows her_.

"Usagi-san," Misaki touched his shoulder gently. "Who is she? You know her, don't you?"

Usagi grasped the woman's hand, squeezing it tightly. "She's my sister."

* * *

Haruhiko watched listlessly as the board members debated the merger with another corporation, a technology firm in Osaka who was losing money in stocks. This merger could save their company and provide the Usami Corporation with the opportunity to market their new products, a smart phone that would easily outsell the iPhone.

He frowned when he felt a buzzing in his pocket. No one ever really needed to get ahold of him outside of his advisors at the architecture school and his father, and very few dared to text him during a board meeting. He discreetly pulled out his cell phone and glanced at the text message.

_It's Akihiko. I found her. She's at Tokyo General._

Haruhiko froze, his eyes locked on the screen. _I found her_.

_He found her._

_ He found _her.

Quickly he stood, startling his father and the board members. "Mr. President, members of the board, I must excuse myself, there is a... situation that has arisen that I must attend to." He strode out the door, ignoring the protests of his father and the board members.

_Finally. FINALLY._

"Yes, bring the car around, we're going to Tokyo General."

_I will never let that bastard make you leave again._

* * *

Misaki winced as Nowaki placed an ice pack on his swollen and bruised cheek. "I'm sorry Takahashi-kun."

"No, it's ok Kusama-sensei. He got me harder than I thought, I guess."

"You did take quite a hit," Nowaki sighed, his dark eyes clouded and worried. "Just keep that ice on it and the swelling should go down. He didn't break the cheekbone which is good, so I'll give you some painkillers and the bruising should be gone in a few days." He handed the boy a bottle of prescription strength painkillers, two which he popped and swallowed quickly with a grimace. "Is Hiro-san with Usami-san?"

"Yeah, I guess Kamijou-sensei knew her, too." Misaki's eyes clouded, remembering the tears that didn't stop until the ambulance arrived at the hospital. "Usagi-ani should be here soon, too."

Nowaki sighed, knowing, with good reason, that his lover would be spending many hours at the ICU today instead of resting at home after spending days and sleepless nights grading his midterms. "Well, you're good to go. If you could tell Hiro-san that I'll be done in an hour and meet him when I get changed, I'd appreciate it."

Misaki nodded and hopped off the examination table, which if hanging off that didn't make him feel short enough, then standing next to the exceptionally tall Nowaaki certainly did. The pleasant pediatrician, who had led him to a room as soon as he had arrived in the ambulance to take care of his cheek, waved as he left, watching with sad eyes., He couldn't imagine what it would feel like to find your sister in such a condition, and for the first time, he felt, to his everlasting guilt, glad that neither he nor Hiro-san had any siblings to worry over.

Misaki clutched the ice pack in his hand, walking quickly to the intensive care unit pointed out to him by a nurse. Normally, they wouldn't allow anyone who wasn't family to be in the waiting room, but after a hard glare and a barked order from Usagi-san, they scrambled to accommodate the Usami family.

Lost in thought, he didn't notice the tall, harried figure until he almost collided with them. Strong hands stopped him before the crash, and he looked up into the worried eyes of Usami Haruhiko.

"Where is she?" he asked, breathless. It was obvious he'd run from the entrance trying to find out where they had placed his sister.

"In the ICU, I'm heading there now, it's just past this nurses' station." They walked side by side in silence, until Haruhiko stopped Misaki with a hand on his shoulder.

"Misaki, before we go inside... how did my brother find Miyako?" His eyes looked weary and tortured, and despite the rocky way their relationship had begun, Misaki had never felt so much pain for the man.

He explained as quickly as possible, beginning with finding her and ending with her taking the gunshot meant for him. Haruhiko's eyes widened, completely speechless.

"The police said they won't be arresting Usagi-san as long as the fingerprints match our story," he added softly. "They took that man's body-"

"Her husband," Haruhiko spat hatefully. "They were married ten years ago, when she wasn't even in high school."

Misaki tried to process that. A young teenage girl, just barely entering womanhood, married off. No doubt it was Fuyuhiko's idea. "How old is she?"

"She'll be twenty-four in two weeks," Haruhiko sighed quietly. "Akihiko and I, we were looking for three years before I... I gave up. Father would never tell us who she married, just that she was well and he spoke to her often." _She's not much older than me. It's amazing she survived ten years of that kind of abuse._

"Well, knowing your father, I don't doubt he was lying." Misaki didn't even have the energy to feel appalled at having insulted his lover's father, and Haruhiko was too frazzled to really notice. They entered the clear sliding doors, side-by-side.

Hiroki stood with his arms crossed next to Usagi, glancing up at the entrance of the two men with relief. He nodded when Misaki relayed Nowaki's message and took one of the many seats lined up along the wall.

"What have t he doctors said?" It was the first exchange the two brothers had had since Misaki had rejected Haruhiko at Marukawa two years prior. Akihiko quietly updated his brother on the status of their sister.

The gunshot wound had miraculously missed her heart, but there had still been significant blood loss, and with her compromised immune system from the years of abuse, she was stable but in no way out of danger. Anyone could see her if they wanted, but the next forty-eight hours would be crucial.

Haruhiko nodded and immediately headed into the room where his sister lay in critical condition, and Misaki sat heavily next to Usagi, pressing the melting ice pack against his cheek. Usagi took his hand tightly, and Misaki didn't have the heart to protest.

_Poor Usagi-san and Usagi-ani. It's obvious how much they love their sister. If she's anything like them, I'd like to meet her, for real. The way Haruhiko-san and Usagi-san talk about her, she must be amazing._ He winced, remembering the reason why she was in the hospital in the first place. _And I need to thank her, for saving my life. If Usagi-chichi was here, I don't know what I'd do. I feel like I'd love to hit him._

"Well, where is she?" Hiroki was the first to look up and rolled his eyes, giving an obvious snort of disgust. Speak of the devil and he will appear, with a posse.

In the doorway stood Usami Fuyuhiko, flanked by two of his bodyguards, wearing sunglasses and still as imposing as ever. However, he was significantly less imposing and more infuriating with the information that he was responsible for the state of the woman in the other room. Misaki narrowed his eyes, having long ago left his feelings of intimidation by this man.

"Why does it matter? You won't get to see her." Usagi growled, standing from his chair, his violet eyes promising murder.

"I am her father, Akihiko. I have a right to see her."

"You gave up the right to her life when you _sold her_!" Akihiko leapt at his father, hands clenched, and it took quick thinking by both Hiroki and Misaki to grab the large man and pull him back from beating the ever living shit out of his father.

"You're a _bastard_, you know that? You've ruined all of your children's lives! You sold your daughter, alienated Haruhiko, and manipulated me for too long! If you know what's good for you, you'll leave!"

"Usagi-san, please, you have to calm down or the hospital will kick you out!" Misaki pleaded with his lover, tugging him back to his seat.

"That's right, Akihiko, listen to your common little gold-digger. Consequently, Takahashi-kun, I hear that _you're_ the reason my daughter is in the hospital. Truly your life has become quite the irritation to me."

Misaki couldn't keep the anger bottled up anymore at these words, but before he could reply to Usagi-chichi's hurtful accusations, someone else had grabbed the front of the president of Usami Corporation's collar.

And decked him with all his might.

Haruhiko rained punches down on his father, feeling satisfaction at the feeling of his jaw giving way. His two lackeys pulled him off, and he smirked dangerously as his father spit blood on the hospital floor.

"What has gotten into you?" Fuyuhiko gasped, accepting an arm from his bodyguard to help him up.

"You haven't _seen_ her, father," Haruhiko snarled. "I talked to her doctor. She's been abused in _every way_ ever since you shipped her off like a prize cow ten years ago! Bones have broken and never reset properly, some of the bruising is permanent, and there is so much damage to her _vaginally_," he spat, taking satisfaction at the shock on his father's face, "that they're almost sure that children will _never_ be a possibility. She's possibly dying right now because of _you_, not Misaki. _You_ sold her off to the highest bidder and _you_ gave her to a man who beat her and passed her around to his business friends," everyone gasped at this. "The only disgusting monster here is the one bleeding pathetically in front of me."

"Enough!" the dark voice of Dr. Kusama rang over Haruhiko's tirade, silencing the heaving man. "Usami-sama," he glared at Fuyuhiko, "You're banned from the ICU until further notice. It's obvious that your presence is only upsetting the family of the patient."

"You can't make that call!" Fuyuhiko snarled, his sunglasses sliding down his nose.

"Actually, as Ekiguchi-san's new physician, yes I can. I've taken over her case and I refuse to allow anything or _anyone_ near her that will hinder her recovery. _You_ are a hindrance, please leave." Nowaki watched stonily as the man stood up to his full height.

"You'll be very sorry, Kusama-kun, when I talk to your superior."

"Since he's the one who put me on as the physician for this case, I'd love to hear what he'll have to say about it." Even though he knew it wasn't the time or the place, Hiroki wasn't sure he had ever been so turned on by his lover before. His authoritative tone and stoicism made him a little weak in the knees.

Fuyuhiko turned and left without a word, taking most of the tension with him. Nowaki took a look at Haruhiko's knuckles, calling over a nurse to take him to get patched up.

"Unfortunately, Usami-san, because you did attack someone on hospital grounds, I'll have to ask you to leave, but only for tonight. You can come back tomorrow morning as early as you want, though, and there are no visitor's hours in the ICU, so you can all stay as long as you want." Haruhiko nodded stonily, not happy that he would have to leave his sister so soon after seeing her again after ten years, but glad that his exile was only for one night. "Go to the nurses' station with Nurse Arato, she'll fix up your hand."

"I'll call you if anything changes," Usagi said softly. He stood and faced his older brother, and after a moment, reached out his hand. The two shook, emotionless, and Haruhiko turned and left the ICU.

Misaki sighed, feeling boneless after so much drama. He sank into the seat, readying himself for a long night with no sleep. He felt Usagi pull him to rest his head on his shoulder, and unwillingly closed his eyes, succumbing to the exhaustion that sapped all of his energy.

* * *

_"How could you bring your bastard here?" Miyako flinched, covering her ears, tears streaming down her face. She bit her lip as the piercing voices of her arguing parents still pierced through her hands into her ears._

_ "Be quiet you lush! The children will hear you!" Fuyuhiko's voice hissed. Miyako sniffled, squeezing her eyes shut even tighter, hoping to somehow drown out the hurtful words from her hiding place behind the bookcase._

_ "What do I give a fuck for those little monsters? The only reason I had those two was because _you_ made me!"_

_ "Yes, well it was _my _luck that one of the two times a year we have sex we happened to have a child!"_

_ Miyako drew her knees to her chest, trying to find some peace in the angry, pain-filled world she lived in. She opened her eyes, sniffling loudly, and noticed a figure huddled on the other side of the library, pale and shaking._

_ She'd only met her older brother earlier that day,, when her Oto-san presented him to the family. Her mother had fumed and stomped, demanding that he send the child somewhere else, but was only met with stony silence. She screamed, knocking Miyako and Akihiko aside and ordered the limo to take her to her favorite watering hole._

_ Now her Onii-san, what she called him in her head, was hiding in a corner, just like her, knees drawn to his chest and shaking. Miyako slowly uncurled herself from the fetal position, a too familiar position she often took in this room when trying to escape her parents. She crawled across the expensive Oriental rug, stopping right in front of the bespectacled boy with his dark hair and dark hair, looking so different and yet so similar to her._

_ Slowly she cupped her hands over his ears, causing him to jerk and look up, red-rimmed eyes staring a her, filled with fear and sadness. The little girl smiled sadly, and pressed her hands harder._

_ "I'm so sorry, Onii-san," she whispered, not caring if he heard. "I hate it here, too. But I love you, and maybe someday you, me, and Nii-chan, maybe we can be a family all by ourselves."_

* * *

_ I remember that. That was the first time we ever had to comfort each other when my parents were screaming at each other. Not long after, Nii-chan joined us, and we started hiding in the library with the books, reading them and hiding away in fantasy. We had to escape, escape that life of hypocrisy and hurt._

_ I feel like I should wake up, but I... I can't. I can't wake up yet, not until I see it all again. I have to find myself again, find Miyako, not the wife, the whore, or the daughter, but just me._

_ I hope I find it soon. I don't think there's much time left._

**A/N: And there's chapter 1! This is a new series I'm doing called "Reason", and it's my first Junjou Romantica series. I'm pretty stoked about this, because this is going to a much darker place than any of my other fics, and it's a challenge for me because I hate describing darker themes like rape and torture. But I'll be delving deep into Miyako's past and we'll see how her brothers helped her get through. Read and review if you like it**


	2. Chapter 2

**The Reason**

**Chapter 2**

**Warning: Mentions of sexual violence, rape, and abortion.**

Akihiko snored softly, propped up against the wall with Misaki's black hoodie draped over his chest. Misaki smiled at how _innocent_ his horny bunny looked when he slept, completely different from the normal sly and smirking Usagi-san. Misaki woke up three hours after slumping over on Usagi-san, who had apparently fallen asleep right after his lover. Unable to sleep anymore, Misaki draped his hoodie over the author and left for coffee, bringing back an extra in case Usagi-san woke up.

"Takahashi-kun?" Misaki looked up into the tired face of Nowaki. His normal shift had ended four hours ago, but since he was now on the case of Ekiguchi Miyako, he put in more overtime than he would have normally, even for one of his child patients. Hiro-san had refused to move from his chair until Nowaki was ready to go home and get some sleep. It had been a long day of tests, oxygen and blood work on the comatose woman in the room across the hall, and now there was no more to do but wait.

"Hai, Kusama-sensei?"

"They might be pulling you for more blood depending on how the night goes. My shift is over, but Tsumori-sensei will be taking over until I get back tomorrow-" he glanced at his watched and sighed, "in a few hours. Let them know how much blood you've given, and make sure you drink juice and eat food."

"Yeah, no problem, get some rest Kusama-sensei." The tired doctor smiled down at the boy and reached over, gently shaking awake Hiroki.

"Hiro-san, it's time to go home."

"Mmm... too tired..." the professor muttered, drawing a tired but happy smile from his lover.

"Hiro-san, if we don't go now, you won't get enough sleep to teach tomorrow."

"Who... wha?" Hiroki slowly blinked his long lashes, yawning widely. His auburn eyes focused for a minute before settling on the figure of the tall doctor. "Nowaki? You done?"

"Yes, Hiro-san. You ready to go home?"

"Yep." The tired man stretched, his T-shirt riding up and displaying a thin sliver of his tight abdomen, a sight that inflamed his exhausted seme. "When do you have to be back?"

"Supervisor Saigo-san said I better not show my face until after eleven, and it's three now."

"Smart man," Hiroki muttered, grabbing his brown corduroy jacket, slipping it on. "He knows you'll catnap for days if he doesn't make you."

"Hai, Hiro-san." Nowaki smiled at his lover and followed the shorter man out of the ICU wing, the electronic doors opening and closing with a _swish_.

Misaki sighed, deep in his thoughts, sipping his sweet coffee. Nothing had changed, except that she was more stable, and now in a coma. Nowaki had no idea when she'd wake up or even if she would; the damage done to her skull from the constant abuse was extensive, some fractures in the skull very apparent in the X-rays done when she first arrived. Miyako was very lucky that she was type AB, so everyone could donate blood for her, and had. They had to pull blood from a needle-phobic Misaki, a stoic Usagi, and an antsy Hiroki. The large amounts of blood, Nowaki said, helped stabilize her quickly, and they kept giving as much as they could.

_What if she never wakes up?_ Misaki bit his lip, not liking that thought. _What if it's all too much for her to remember? What if she just doesn't _want_ to wake up?_ If that was the case, Misaki wouldn't blame her; Haruhiko's brief description of the abuse, _all_ the abuse, had made it difficult to keep his lunch down. To have been hurt in _that_ way, at such a young age, he couldn't imagine, and frankly, he didn't want to.

* * *

_"Miyako!" Fuyuhiko barked through the intercom system, "You have five minutes to meet me in the parlor."_

_ "Yes, father," she pulled away from the button, watching as the maid finished tying her formal silver obi around her small waist. She stared at herself blankly, barely noticing the makeup that accentuated her eyes and lips, making her look older, or the elegant flower-laced silver curls that draped over her shoulders. She could barely acknowledge the soothing words of her maid or the exclamations of her beauty. Numbly she stood to her feet, not even recognizing the woman in the mirror where once stood a girl._

_ Slowly she made her way down the stairs, not even caring that she was past her father's five minute deadline. Her feet dragged as her stomach lurched painfully, the parlor doors looming like the gates of hell._

_ Close enough._

_ Tanaka sent her a sad but encouraging look and opened the doors for her grand entrance. The discussion between the two gentlemen ceased as the girl entered, seating herself carefully on a floor pillow, while they loomed over her in elegant plush chairs._

_ "Very nice, Usami-sama," the older man purred. "Beautiful and silent, just the way a proper wife should be." His balding head glistened in the dim light, and his suit jacket strained against his generous stomach._

This cannot be happening.

_"She is still my daughter, Ekiguchi. I expect you to treat her with the manner befitting her station as an English Lady."_

This _can't_ be real.

_"Of course, Usagi-sama, I meant no disrespect. Miyako will want for nothing for the rest of her life, you have my word." She could feel his lust-driven gaze caressing her body, and she shivered in revulsion. "Cold, my dear?"_

THIS ISN'T REAL!

_ "No, Ekiguchi-san, I am perfectly fine."_

_ Fuyuhiko nodded approvingly at her response. "Well, in that case, let us begin. Ekiguchi, if you will sign here-"_

_ "Father, may I please have a word first?" Both men whipped their heads in shock at the quiet request of the teenager._

_ "What could you possibly need to say in front that you cannot say in front of your future husband?" Ekiguchi was mad, she could hear it, and there was an underlying threat that she would pay for this later. She ignored the bolt of feared that raced down her spine at his narrowed eyes._

_ "I mean no disrespect, Ekiguchi-san. I would simply like to say goodbye to my father in private before our marriage." She bowed her head and kept her voice light and demure. _I only have one chance.

_"Ah, I see, but of course, my dear," Ekiguchi rose. "I'll give you a few minutes alone." He strode out the door Tanaka held open, strutting like the prized peacock he believed himself to be. The door closed with an audible _click.

_"Freedom." Fuyuhiko narrowed his eyes as his daughter stared back, defiantly. "You want to sell me like a horse, fine. But there's a price for my silence. How do you think Kaoruko's parents would feel when they found out you sold me to a man three times my age?" The older man blanched. "Exactly. They'd take me and all their stocks. If you want me to go without a word to anyone, you give them their freedom."_

_ "And who exactly are 'they'?" Fuyuhiko sneered, crossing his leg._

_ "Haruhiko and Akihiko. If they want to leave this house, this life, you do _nothing_ to stop them. You use no Usami resources to hinder them. You let them live their lives without question or interference." Miyako stared her father down, her light violet eyes portraying her message clearly._

_ Fuyuhiko growled, then nodded his head sharply. "Fine. You're just as conniving as your mother. If they want to leave, they leave, I won't stop them. But you greatly underestimate my influence, my dear. Maybe Akihiko will leave, but I know for a fact Haruhiko will stay here."_

_ "Then that's his choice. I won't let you do to my brothers what you're doing to me. They don't deserve that."_

_ "And you do?" Fuyuhiko was genuinely interested in what his daughter had to say on the matter, never seeing her as clever as she was now._

_ Miyako narrowed her eyes. "I will be the perfect executive wife you've bred me to be, _father_. I will make you more money on this marriage than Akihiko or Haruhiko ever could with the merger with Ekiguchi Inc. My life, for their freedom. It's worth it."_

_ "How over-dramatic of you," he sighed, motioning at Tanaka to let the groom back into the room. He plastered a smile as Miyako lowered her head in submission._

It's worth it now. I'll tell myself that everyday I'm with this vile man. I saved them. That's all that matters.

_The marriage ceremony was quick, the officiant arriving shortly after the "heartfelt goodbyes" between father and daughter. Father, daughter, and husband signed the marriage contract, and she was ushered out to the waiting car. She sat gingerly, smoothing her wedding gown carefully as her husband climbed into the limo, slamming the door shut. They pulled away from the stately mansion, easing onto the highway towards her new home._

_ "So, you think I'm that stupid, huh?" Miyako raised her head, her eyes dull and blank. _

_ "You really think I don't know that this is all an act, this perfect society princess bullshit?" Ekiguchu laughed, grating on her nerves like sandpaper on metal. "Trust me, _dear_, soon enough you'll learn how it really is. Starting now." He grabbed her by the collar, forcing her onto her knees on the floor of the limo. Her eyes widened in disgusted horror as she face his obvious arousal under his suit pants. He held her by the back of her neck as he unzipped his pants, pulling out his purple and engorged member._

_ "Now, suck it like the good little whore you are," he laughed, forcing her closer. She fought him, trying to get away, but he backhanded her with a growl. "I said SUCK IT, or I'll beat the shit out of you!"_

_ With tears in her eyes from the pain of the blow, she hesitantly lowered her mouth to engulf him, almost gagging on the bitter taste and musky smell. "And don't you even fucking dare think of gagging, you slut. This is your life from now on, deal with it."_

* * *

Misaki stared at the empty dregs of his coffee, debating whether he wanted another cup. With a sigh he tossed it in the garbage can, shoving his hands in his pockets. Well, no use putting it off now. He stood, stretching, and slowly entered the hospital room housing the sister of his lover.

_3 Years Later_

_ Miyako clutched her stomach, heaving into the toilet. She knew what this meant, what had happened again. She knew better than to hope that Ekiguchi would allow her to keep the child growing inside of her. He had already forced her to have an abortion, she knew it would only be a matter of time before he found out about this one and had it "exterminated" as well. Remembering the pain and seeing the little child she had allowed herself to love mutilated into a bloody pulp with visible extremities made her heave again, vomit splashing loudly against the side of the porcelain toilet._

_ "Miyako! Get your slutty ass out here!" She trembled, flushing the toilet and rinsing her mouth out quickly, staring at herself in the mirror. Dead, smoky eyes looked back at her as she wiped a smudge of bright red lipstick off the corner of her lips. The skin tight black dress hugged her figure, the sweetheart neckline dipping obscenely low while her breasts were pushed up, together showing an obnoxious amount of cleavage. She stumbled leaving the bathroom, her ankles and feet wrapped in five inch platform strappy red stilettos._

The only sounds in the room were the slow and steady beeping of the heart monitor. Misaki hesitated before stepping fully in the dim room, the only light the thin streams of moonlight peeping between the blinds. He sat quietly in the seat next to the unconscious woman, getting his first good look at her since she had come to them seeking help only fourteen hours earlier.

Her hair, silver like Usagi's, spread out across the pillow in a glowing halo, some long enough to slip over the side of the bed and pool on the floor. Obviously she hadn't cut her hair in quite a while.

_Or been allowed to get it cut_. Misaki sighed, watching the moonbeams dancing across her skin. In the dim light, the moon bleached the bruises from her skin, making her look innocent. A blue eye patch attached with tape covered her left eye, while her head, right arm, chest, and torso were completely wrapped in bandages. The Kusama-sensei said they had to re-break two of her ribs so they could immobilize them and get them to heal correctly. Everything else was already sprained.

_Miyako stumbled into the office where her husband and three other well-dressed executives waited for her. She stood with her hands clasped and her head bowed, as she'd been taught. The longer she behaved, the better chance she had to save the baby before her husband tried to abort it. Even the greedy doctors he paid couldn't perform the procedure on her past the first trimester, no matter how much money he threw at them._

_ "Ah, there you are pet," he purred, grinning evilly. "Gentlemen, try not to break her, she has a busy day tomorrow." He gave her a sarcastic kiss on the cheek before leaving with a cheerful, "Play nice!"._

_ "So, Ekiguchi-san," the man on the left smirked, loosening his tie. "I hear that that pretty little mouth of yours does the most amazing... work."_

_ "Really, Morimoto-san?" The man on the right advanced on her, squeezing her breast through her dress, forcing her to swallow more vomit. "I heard that her pussy was still nice and tight." He licked her ear with a dark chuckle._

_ "Hmmm, suppose I'm taking that round ass," the last man laughed, tossing aside his jacket. All three advanced on her, clawing off her dress and ripping her bra and panties to shreds._

_ It's worth it, they're free. It's worth it, they're free._

Misaki tentatively reached for the still hand, eyes sad at the feeding tube connected through her nose. "You seem like you'd be fighting all this. Can you fight some more, for them?"

_She screamed at the pain of invasion, the bastard not even having the decency to prepare her before shoving himself into her ass. She gasped, feeling a tear as he moved, the pain excruciating. He laughed when he saw the blood, chuckling at how "wet" she was for him. She couldn't scream for long as a thin dick was forced into her mouth and down her throat, hitting her already sensitive gag reflex, at the same time that the man under her slammed himself inside her, completely dry. She sobbed, trying to get away from the pain, trying-_

_ "Can you fight some more, for them?"_

_ I'm sorry. I can't!_

Before Misaki could reach her hand, Miyako's entire body convulsed, rising off the bed before collapsing, jerking and twisting in unnatural ways. Misaki jumped back, scrambling for the remote to call the nurse on duty.

"Please, somebody help! I think- I think she's seizing!" Just as he called for help, she stopped, and the sound of the heart monitor flat-lining had his eyes widening and his heart stuttering. He choked on a sob as foam trickled out of her open mouth.

"Misaki, what's wrong?" a tired Usagi-san groaned before being roughly shoved aside by a team of doctors. They shoved her hospital gown up and spread blue gel on the two electrodes of the defibrillator, placing them on the upper left and lower right of her chest. Usagi rushed to Misaki's side, holding him while he shook his head in denial, tears streaming down his face.

"And CLEAR!" Tsumori sent the shock through Miyako's chest, watching her body convulse off the bed and fall down again. There were no blips on the monitor. Misaki choked back a sob, while Usagi's face paled to ash.

"CLEAR!" No blips.

"CLEAR!" Nothing.

"CLEAR!" _Blip. Blip. Blip._ Everyone sighed audibly as the doctors hastily hooked her up to more machines to monitor her progress. Tsumori sighed, rubbing his temples.

"Why did that happen?" Usagi growled, clutching Misaki to his chest.

"We don't always know why seizures happen, but if I had to guess, I'd say it was from the trauma. Everything was too much for her. She's stable now, and we'll keep nurses in the room twenty-four hours to monitor her. I'll go ahead and call Kusama-sensei and update him." Tsumori left with one of the the nurses, leaving two others busily setting up more equipment and monitors. Misaki felt sick, seeing how she was slowly becoming more machine than woman.

"I think- I think I need to lie down," Misaki murmured, pulling away from Usagi's chest. They trudged out of the room, Usagi slumping into a seat, holding his head. He dug into his pockets and pulled out a card, handing it to Misaki.

"It's for the hotel connected to the hospital, I had Aikawa grab them while they were taking care of your cheek. The walkway's on this floor, and our room is the first one on the left on the same level. Haruhiko's next door," he left the unsaid question of "Is that okay?" hang in the air.

"It's all cool," Misaki smiled wearily. "But what about you? You look like you're going to fall over, Usagi-san."

"Haru's on his way, he texted me not too long ago. It's what..." he glanced at his watch, "Nine-thirty? He's had a good night's sleep, so he can take over and I'll join you for a nap."

"Okay," Misaki nodded, shoving the card in his pocket. He was about to turn to walk away when a thought struck. Looking at Usagi, so exhausted, so vulnerable, he bit his lip and scanned the ward. Nope, nobody. Quickly, before he lost his nerve, he tapped Usagi on the shoulder. The older man lifted his head, but before he could say a word, Misaki bent down and covered his lips with his own.

Surprised, it took Usagi a moment to respond, but unlike normal Usagi, this time he didn't grab the boy and begin the molesting ritual. He simply cupped Misaki's cheek, rubbing his bruised cheek tenderly.

Shyly, Misaki ran his tongue over his lover's lips, which parted, and a matching tongue snaked out, entwining with his own. He let out a muffled moan as Usagi took the lead, expertly plundering the younger man's mouth. When Misaki felt heat pooling in his lower belly, he pulled away gently.

"Don't forget to eat something, you crazy rabbit," he muttered, and walked away quickly, through the mechanical doors. He didn't noticed the wide eyes of five nurses who had seen the exchange between men, frantically trying to staunch their nosebleeds.

* * *

_"Nii-chan!" Miyako crawled under the bushes, ignoring when her expensive dressed tore on some brambles. "Nii-chan, I know you're here!"_

_ "Geez, brat, can't you be any quieter, I'm trying to read!" Miyako burst out into her brother's "secret place", smiling widely at a scowling Hiroki._

_ "Sorry, Kamijou-kun."_

_ "Who are you calling "kun" you little-"_

_ "What is it, Miyako?" Fifteen year old Akihiko's quiet voice rose over his blustering friend, his face emotionless except for the warmth in his violet eyes._

_ "Weeellll... Tomorrow's my birthday!"_

_ "I'm aware."_

_ "Ugh, you sound just like Onii-san, all proper. Anyways, I want to talk to you about what I want!"_

_ Akihiko smirked and closed his notebook. Usually Miyako didn't ask for anything for her birthday, accepting the gifts her parents gave with humility and the ones her brothers gave with excitement and glee. "Ok twerp, what do you want!"_

_ "'m not a twerp," she stuck her tongue out at him, which he playfully tried to swipe. "I want... well, um..."_

_ "Oi! Spit it out already so you can take your cutesy sunshine happiness somewhere else!" Hiroki grumbled, feeling uncomfortable watching the sibling antics._

_ "I WANNA GO ON A WALK!" Miyako blurted, her pale cheeks turning dark maroon, her hair falling to obscure her face. "Well, what I mean is..." she took a deep breath. "I want you, me, and Onii-san," Akihiko's face became blank at the mention of his older brother. "to go on a walk in the woods. We can read and draw and just... be happy, for a little while." Miyako's voice trailed off and the eight year old looked away, not sure of her brother's answer. Her Nii-chan and Onii-san never got along very well, not because they fought, but because they never talked. The only time they were together was when it involved Miyako._

_ "Yeah, twerp, we'll go." Akihiko's voice didn't sound sure, but when a blond body threw itself at him, knocking him down and smothering his face with kisses, he knew it was the right thing. He and his brother could get along for one afternoon, for her sake._

"Here, some food," Usagi hadn't even noticed Haruhiko walking into the hospital room, he'd been so intent on memorizing every line of her face. He was too terrified that she was still some dream, that she'd disappear if he blinked. He accepted the ramen cup with a nod, placing it on the table. He wasn't hungry.

"The doctor says she had a seizure." Usagi quickly and emotionlessly brought his brother up to speed on their sister seizing, and the terrifying two minutes where she flat-lined. Haruhiko shook his head, visibly trembling.

"I talked to the police on the way here," he said quietly. "You won't be charged with anything. Witnesses in your building and the fingerprints on the guns corroborate your story. I sent a cleaning crew to your apartment to clean the... well, you know." Usagi nodded. "They also searched Ekiguchi's mansion and found-"

"Found what, Haru?"

Haruhiko sighed, running his fingers through his hair. "They found tapes Ekiguchi was using to blackmail politicians and executives who had... been with her. He passed her around like some kind of toy. It's become a huge scandal, I'm trying to keep it off the news, but when five politicians and seven corporate executives are going to be involved in the investigation of a woman who was abused and... raped, it'll be all over the papers and the media. No amount of money can stop it."

Usagi sighed wearily. "She could handle it, I know she could."

"Yes, I know."

_Do I really want to wake up for that? Everyone in Japan will know that I was sold by my father so my husband could toss me to anyone willing to pay for a night with an exotic-looking British Lady. Is it worth waking up? I'm not sure I _can_ handle that._

"I just..." Haruhiko sat heavily in the other chair, burying his hands in his face. "I wish she'd wake up."

_I don't know if I can, or if I want to. But if I don't... how can we talk again?_

"I know. I want her to tell me to get some sun, I'm too pale." Usagi's voice broke, and he furiously wiped at his eyes.

_Yeah, you probably are, you idiot. It's amazing you've survived this long, you forget the basic things like eating and sleeping._

"I want... hell, I just want her to say _anything_," Haruhiko choked out, his shoulders shaking.

_You're crying? But you haven't cried since that night in the library. I've never heard you two talk so much before. Is that... because of me?_

"This is my fault. I didn't search hard enough."

_It's not your fault, Nii-chan. It's the dead dickless wonder's fault, no one else. Not even my ass of a father._

"I'm the oldest, I should have found her long before any of this could have happened."

_Ekiguchi had the paperwork of the marriage buried, and father didn't tell you on purpose, Onii-san. Please, stop-_

"We're both to blame for this, Haru."

"If she... _when_ she wakes, I hope she understands that we did _try_, we tried so hard, but we just-"

"We _lived_, Haru. Maybe that was our sin, trying to find happiness while she was suffering."

_You idiots-_

"'S what... supposed to do," a dry, cracked voice croaked, and both brothers' heads shot up, eyes wide and unbelieving as the silver-purple glare of their sister's eye met theirs. "You were... _supposed_ to be... happy."

**A/N: Well, I hated writing this chapter. I loved how it turned out, but I REALLY hate writing that kind of angst. Unfortunately, it was a show and not tell sort of situation, so hopefully I did a good enough job.**

**Everlasting: Thank you so much! I usually write and then spend days rewriting and fixing, but this time actually came out perfect the first time with no tweaking which is rare. Thank you so much!**

**MissUzuki: Don't use my story as an excuse if you get caught, lol. But I'm so glad you like it. Funny thing is, I like Japanese names that end in -ko the most for some reason, but that was a conscious decision to keep the tradition, since you have Kaoruko who also has the -ko thing.**

**Please keep reading and reviewing, and thank you to everyone who liked it so far**


	3. Chapter 3

**The Reason**

**Chapter 3**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Junjou Romantica, but I DO own Miyako Usami and Reiji **

** Fujioka, along with any other OCs my happy little mind can come up with.**

**Warning: Sexy man-on-man sex ahead!**

**UPDATE June 25, 2012: I've decided that instead of completely writing off FF, I'm going to go through all my stories and take out the smut. If you want to see the MA versions of these stories, go to your fan fiction dot com slash view user dot php ? uid = 967, without the spaces. That's where I'll be moving all my stories to, as well as to my blog gaias fan fiction dot wordpress dot com. Both of those places are the best ones to find my stories.**

Misaki groaned, the sunlight filtering through the hotel's floral curtains. The first thing he noticed was the lack of warmth from a certain large bunny clutching him like a Suzuki-san. He blinked blearily, rolling over slowly and groping for his cell phone. He groaned at the green fluorescent numbers shining merrily at him: 4:46 p.m.

Crap. He'd been asleep for over seven hours. He blinked, squinting at the screen on the face of the phone, and saw the tiny envelope in the right hand corner. _Huh. Got a text message. Probably Usagi-san needing something from the vending machines_. He flipped the phone open, punching keys until the text came up on the screen.

From: Baka Usagi

Date: 29/4/2012

Time: 4:03 PM

Subject: [none]

Miyako woke up. Hurry when you get this, she wants to talk to you.

Usagi

Misaki blinked, pressing the END button. He sighed, turning on his back, eyebrows furrowed.

_Should I go? I mean, isn't the whole reason she almost _died_ because she took that gunshot for me? Why would she want to talk to _me? Misaki clutched the pillow to his body, staring out the window into the brightness of the day.

_And what about Usagi-san? Sooner or later it's going to come out, that it's _my _fault that she got hurt. Hell, when I tried to be near her, she had a seizure and almost died, _again!_ Maybe it would have been better if Ekiguchi _had_ gotten me with the bullet. I couldn't protect her. Usami-chichi was right, all I do is hurt people. Usagi-san probably hates me._ He pulled the comforter higher over his shoulder, hoping if the world couldn't see the tears dripping off his cheekbone, then they wouldn't really exist.

_It would be better if I wasn't here._

Usagi frowned, looking at his Rolex for the fourth time in ten minutes. After Miyako woke, the brothers scrambled to get her water and alert Nowaki. The doctor arrived just minutes after Miyako woke by chance, and after a thorough examination (and reassurances that he was very happily gay after her trembling hesitation in lowering her gown to check her bandages), he shook his head, amazed.

"There are many things that medicine still can't explain, especially when it comes to the brain. According to the all the tests we ran, I wasn't expecting you to wake up for another day, if at all, especially after your seizure and heart failure. But doctors always encourage family members to be in the room and talk to comatose patients for this reason, in one way or another, sometimes it gets through to them." Nowaki smiled, dropping her chart back in the container on the door. "The therapist on staff will be here this afternoon, Ekiguchi-"

"Please, call me Usami," Miyako said softly, averting her good eye. "I plan on changing my name as soon as possible."

"My apologies, Usami-san," Nowaki smiled sadly. "As I was saying, the therapist will be coming every afternoon while you're here. I'm recommending that you stay for another week to allow the ribs and your arm to heal enough to become mobile." Miyako nodded, her long, silver hair hiding her expressions. "The gunshot wound is staying nice and clean, so there's no risk of infection. The shot itself missed your heart, which was a miracle in and of itself." His smile faltered as he received no response from the woman lying motionless on the hospital bed.

"There is one more thing, Usami-san," he hesitated, indecision warring in his dark blue eyes. He sighed, still receiving no response from the broken woman. "There was extensive damage to the uterus. I'm afraid-"

"It's alright, Kusama-sensei." the small voice whispered, the broken body curling in on itself. "I know children aren't possible. That _bastard_," she spat, her body trembling, "forced me to a doctor for three abortions. My third pregnancy, he beat me to a miscarriage. I know." She took a great, shuddering breath. "If there's nothing else, I think I'd like to be alone for a few minutes."

Nowaki nodded, his eyes filled with sympathy and pain for the hurting woman. "Of course, Usami-san. Would you like me to send in your brothers?"

"Yes, please." Before he reached the doorknob. she called out to him. "Kusama-sensei?"

He paused. "Yes, Usami-san?"

"Thank you. I really do appreciate everything you've done. And thank you for taking care of Hiroki-kun. He needs someone like you, someone who loves him without changing him."

Nowaki didn't respond, already feeling how hard it was for the girl to cling onto her dignity. He gave her a wan smile and nodded, leaving the room and the patient to her thoughts.

"Usami-san?" Both brothers looked up from their chairs at the name.

"How is she, Kusama? Is she still awake?" Usagi, normally cool, collected, and full of snark, ran his hand through his hair for the tenth time since his sister had pulled out of her coma.

The doctor nodded. "Yes, she's awake and in no danger of slipping into another coma. I tried to break the news of her reproductive issues gently, but she already knew. Apparently Ekiguchi forced her to have three abortions and caused a miscarriage. Coupled with the frequent sexual abuse and rape, it's a wonder that she doesn't have sensitivity issues, and a miracle she didn't contract any STDs, since it seems with so many pregnancies that none of those disgusting bastards thought to use a condom." Nowaki had to grit his teeth and close his eyes to get his professional bearing. This case was getting to him more than he ever imagined.

"The real problem won't be with her physically, though. She wouldn't let me examine her until she was sure I wasn't interested in her sexually." He decided to leave out how she figured out he was Hiro-san's lover. "The psychiatrist will be able to give you more information, but I would expect severe mood swings and a serious case of post-traumatic stress disorder. From what the police report says, she was essentially locked in the house with only access to two rooms, the bedroom and the bathroom. She was never seen in public and never allowed to leave. She's going to be afraid of everything and everybody, and the inevitable media backlash is going to hit her hard." He grabbed the chart from the door, flipping quickly. "Takahashi-kun was the one protecting her from Ekiguchi, correct?"

"Yes. Ekiguchi was aiming the gun at Misaki, but Miyako shoved him out of the way."

Nowaki nodded. "He's going to be an integral part of her recovery. She will see him as her protector, sort of her hero. He will help her the most to integrate back into society from what was essentially ten years of torture and isolation." Both brothers dropped their gazes, their eyes burning with the pain of trying to understand the horrors that had befallen their baby sister. But they shared one, single thought while Nowaki continued to brief them on their sister's condition.

_This is my fault_.

That was six hours ago. Usagi knew Misaki would sleep hard after the emotional drama and all the events afterwards, but he really should have been back by now. He sent a quick text, throwing in a little lie about his sister wanting to talk to him. He wasn't sure if she would, but if Kusama said she needed to, then he believed him. The two had a rocky start nine years ago when the cheeky teenager claimed Hiroki at the doorway, but the man was a respected pediatrician, and considering how well he was handling the case of a grown, abused woman, Usagi only had the highest respect for his medical talents.

Finally when the time on his Rolex read after six p.m., Usagi excused himself from his brother and headed to the room, exhaustion finally weighing him down. He had a four hour cat nap while Miyako was in her coma, but now the lack of a real, deep sleep was beginning to weigh on him.

When he opened the door to the hotel room and kicked off his shoes, he was surprised to see Misaki sitting in the lounge chair, legs pulled to his chest and chin propped on his knees, staring out the small sliver of window peeking from behind the drapes. Usagi furrowed his brows, troubled by the dark atmosphere of the room.

"Misaki?" The boy didn't acknowledge him, just continued staring out the window. Usagi was too tired and too frazzled to deal with whatever problems Misaki was dealing with right now, but he didn't feel right just falling into bed with his lover so obviously troubled. So he sat in the chair across from Misaki, hoping to resolve whatever issues his lover had quickly so he could nap. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"It's obvious it's not nothing when you're sitting like a caged bird in a dark room, like some overdramatic Japanese Edgar Allen Poe." Getting no response, Usagi groaned, slumping in the chair.

"It's my fault." The statement came out of nowhere, and gave the tall seme pause. "Your sister getting shot, your bad relationship with your father and your brother... it's all because of me." His lover's voice sounded so _wrong_, so dead and empty. Never had he seen Misaki so completely blank before, and it terrified him to his very core.

Usagi stared, unable to process what his lover was saying. "Misaki, what the hell-"

"Don't deny it. Things would have been better if you never met me. Maybe it would have been better if that bullet-"

_"DON'T YOU FUCKING SAY IT!"_ All of Usagi's careful composure, his years of detaching his emotions, it all fell apart with the mere _insinuation_ of Misaki's possible death. He grabbed the boy's shoulders and shook him, feeling panic welling in his throat at the image of Misaki and not his sister lying on the apartment floor, overwhelmed by a crimson pool staining his white T-shirt. "What the fuck are you thinking? How can you even _think_ that-"

Misaki, before listless and cold, now gripped the hands shaking him, eyes filling with wetness. "Usagi-san, please-"

And just like that, the shaking stopped. In an instant, he was embraced by strong arms, holding him in a vice grip. He clutched Usagi-san's shoulder, trying to find a buoy in the dangerous waters of his own mind.

"How can you even _fathom_ that my life would be better without you?" Usagi breathed in his ear, making him bury his face in the strong shoulder and cry. "How could I even _begin_ to describe the pain I would feel if you were gone? I wouldn't, _couldn't_, go on without you."

"Don't say it-"

"I'd have taken that gun-"

"Shut up!"

"And pointed it at my-"

_"NO! JUST SHUT UP!" _Misaki cried, pulling away. He choked on a sob at the broken expression on Usagi-san's face, twisting the white button-up in his fingers. Behind the pain from their conversation, he could see. _guilt_. "It's not your fault, either." Usagi-san looked away, unable to face his lover. "Look at me, _damnit_!"

Surprised, he turned his head, violet eyes boring into green. "It's _not _your fault," Misaki said slowly, emphasizing every word, drilling it into Usagi's head and heart. "There was _nothing_ you could have done. Ekiguchi was the one who hurt her, _not you_." He pressed his forehead against the older man's, circling his arms around the broad shoulders.

Usagi panted hard, breaths brushing against the skin of Misaki's good cheek. "Every time I close my eyes, all I see is you in her place," he whispered raggedly, clutching the waist of the boy. "That she hadn't pushed you away, and you were-" He couldn't finish, just swallowed and buried his head in the neck of his lover, who brushed his hair.

"We're really pathetic, you know that?" That managed to draw a shaky chuckle from the tall man. "We're both blaming ourselves for shit we can't control." He pulled Usagi away from him, forcing him to look into his eyes. He saw his pain and his guilt, and his _relief_, all rolled into one picture of torment, mirrored in the face of the face of the man he loved. Knowing that this time would be different, one of those rare times where he wouldn't protest, wouldn't deny, wouldn't lie about what he wanted and needed, he lifted himself closer to silver haired man, and quickly pressed his lips against his.

**A/N: This chapter is a little shorter, I know, but it was a good stopping place. So, first time writing yaoi for me! I hope it wasn't disappointing, I have mixed feelings about it. I honestly wasn't planning on it this chapter, but I'm just the writer, the plot Usagis just run the show.**

** MissUzuki: Yes please, tell your friends! Also tell them to review, that's what's keeping me going!**

** Everlasting: Thank you! Yep, Misaki and Usagi couldn't just let everything slide by, I think, without some kind of negative reactions. And this fic is teaching me that while I love my world of rainbows and chocolate, the real world just doesn't function that way. Pity.**

** Me-Anne: Yeah, Miyako isn't very interesting at the moment, but considering what she's been through (which is what I've put her through... wow I feel like a monster), who would be? Her personality will shine soon enough.**

** Please review and thank you for reading! We writers are needy people and basically live off those reviews, so keep them coming**


	4. Chapter 4

Dear Faithful Readers,

First of all, my apologies for not getting out new chapters as quickly as you or I had hoped. I've had some personal issues affecting productivity in all areas of my life recently, but that's neither here nor there. Next apology is that THIS is not a new chapter.

As you're all aware, FF is cracking down on content that is MA, which just about all of my stories are. So I want to provide you a few places where you'll be able to find my fics:

Wordpress: I started a Wordpress blog just so you all can see my fics in one place: gaiasfanfiction dot wordpress dot com. I think I can do posting alerts or something for it, but I'm not entirely sure. I'll let you know as soon as I know.

Yourfanfiction: This I am REALLY excited about, since both Cerberus Revised and The Black Flamingo have both headed here. It's easy to navigate and has the MA rating, so I can post everything from here there.

I'll be deleting the MA chapters and leaving this up to let you know where they're at, but I won't be updating these stories with any non MA content, only on these two sites. I want to thank all of your for inspiring me to keep writing, even if it's been a little while, and encouraging me to do what I love doing. I hope to see you either on YFF or WP!

Sincerely,

Gaia of the Fores


End file.
